Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
