I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We had sex on a dog bed..
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
