oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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