He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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