I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
