i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
