we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
