when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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