Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
