so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize