sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
