You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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