Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize