i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize