If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
