What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
