I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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