Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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