i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
