Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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