to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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