You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
