There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
