I CAN MOONWALK!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
