Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
