Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
