does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
