the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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