you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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