I think im going to throw up on grandma
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
