white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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