So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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