is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize