Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize