FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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