Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
