Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
