We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
