How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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