I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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