I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
