I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
