did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
