ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
