i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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