their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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