she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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