I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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