I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need a beard to bite.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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