Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
