i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Fuck appropriateness.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
