Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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