Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
