Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
