are you still at the devil's house?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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