I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
