If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
