I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
