I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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