$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
