I have demons in me.
the condom got lost in my hair
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
